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What happens when you don’t know what a “red flag” is…
Just when you think you have processed the demise of your marriage enough times, more comes up. I dedicate this blog to all of those women who taught me about red flags.
When I got married over 27 years ago, I had never heard of “red flags”. I was 19 years old and had never been in a serious relationship. My high school boyfriend and I had not been really serious. We had plenty of fun together, but hormones and teenage angsty-ness really got in the way. And when I went out west to college, we said goodbye. It was the end, and we both knew it. I don’t do long distance relationships well to this day. That might have been the only good and kind choice I ever made with boys…to leave.
I met my now-ex 28 years ago last month. We went our separate ways for the summer-me to the Midwest and him, back to CA, where he belongs. He worked some and played more. I worked 3 jobs and saved everything for school, like a good Midwest farmgirl does. Halfway through the long summer, I paid for him to come visit. It was likely no surprise to my mom and dad that he would come. I was a bit of a magnet for nice-looking guys.
He came for a week. We did some sight-seeing and family visits. My grandparents wanted to meet him. My grandfather, especially, wanted to sit with him and have a “chat”. That chat was really short and to…
