Thomas, you are not wrong about this. But there is another side to it that you may not know of. There is also what happened to me. I saw what my dad brought to the table. I thought all dads were like that. I thought that was what ALL men did. My world was small and protected, for better and for worse. I didn't know there was another kind of man.
It wasn't until I was married that I realized that I had married a man who had no idea what he was doing. And didn't care about knowing. He was happy to just go with the flow. He wanted to travel and see the world and learn everything. It's awesome until you buy a home and are raising children...and he cannot keep a job. Sometimes we don't know better. We expect something that isn't real. We make assumptions that make a total ass out of us. Truly. I love reading about your processing and honor every word, my friend.