Thomas, yes to this. But also, yes to MEN fixing this shit. It's their FATHER's fault that things are the way they are. Now, it's up to you, men, to change the narrative by being the men that we ought to have had. I'm not saying you are blaming the victim. I celebrate that you are celebrating the honesty of the other writer. And you are not wrong on any count. We do need to acknowledge our needs having not been met, by either parent, if we are truly honest about things. I, for one, do work on this in therapy, and have for many years. And it's tragic when our relationships suffer because we haven't dealt with our past. I know you have suffered. I have as well.

And, there is the reality that people are complex. Dads aren't just good or bad, awesome or shitty. Humans are complicated and it's impossible to process all of it, I think. My father was amazing, yet there was something in there that caused me to deal with a lot of shame. His expectations, his own fears, his own issues around me, his first daughter, all weigh in. And its taken me decades to sort all of it. He is wonderful AND he is shitty. Absolutely. There are times he came through for me and other times he absolutely failed me. Its devastating.

I appreciate your words. I know this very topic has hurt you deeply, my friend. I'm grateful you are the kind of father you are to your children. What a gift!