This is wonderful. Thank you for explaining something that was my lifestyle of choice for almost 3 decades so well.

I heard it several years ago as Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Appease. That also works to counteract the negativity around the word Fawn. But, in the end, who is to say, how conscious the victim is? I know at times, I was completely unconscious of how I was living my life to make sure he was happy and fulfilled. I had no idea I had lost an enormous piece of my identity. But, Appease works as well as Feign because after we are made aware. that's what it is. We are making do with what is, trying to counter-manipulate even.

I am not proud of how I dealt with my narcissistic ex at the end of our marriage. But, I had so much pent-up angst and anger that there was simply no other way. Finally, he left, and we are all free of his influence. But, what a price we all paid and I will forever pay, financially as well as neurologically. I am going to read more of your stuff!! Thanks!