This article is very well written and speaks to my life in a very real way. Thank you. Your understanding now of your own actions, the way you chose to escape and spend time in other, more "safe" spaces is totally understandable. I heard my ex bought a light therapy box, after years and years of my desperate attempts to help him see his depression during our marriage. Sadly, our family was not worth the effort to find a healthy life, but his girlfriend is. I am grateful for the perspective I have now as well. My failings are more and more apparent. It keeps me humble and alert. Thank you again!