Member-only story
The Wild Edge of Love Part 6
The Dangerous Misperception of Safety
We decided we would go through the dissolution paperwork together. He would come over, sit at the table, and discuss the different bullet points together with me. It was going well…at least that’s what I thought. We had laughed together and cried together, on several occasions. It seemed to be going just as I had hoped and prayed for. He came for dinner on Sundays after church. Up till this point, we had been sitting together in a pew with the kids-like a family. That’s exactly what I had wanted. He came for Friday night pizza nights at the house. He only stopped coming when he got a girlfriend…about 4 months in. He moved on from his kids as well at that point. He was busy.
I had never imagine being with him till I got old. I couldn’t. There was something that just didn’t jive in my mind and soul about it all. Sure, we were married for “time and all eternity” in a Mormon temple almost 26 years before. But, there was never a connection that I felt was essential. It was always too much about him, perhaps.
I processed the grief around the marriage for years before the divorce was even spoken of. I had not ever decided that’s what I wanted, but knew that my needs had never been met and there were problems, unnamed as they may be. To divorce amicably seemed like the dream. He gets to be happy somewhere else…
