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The Systems that Fear Us
Listening to a series of talks by Gabor Mate, a famous physician/trauma researcher and specialist, I hear words that resonate with me. The words are these, paraphrased:
“They system is afraid of black people. It is afraid of indigenous peoples. They tried to kill us off and they couldn’t. They know our resilience and because of that, we are a threat.”
As I hear those words, as a white, lower-middle class, middle-aged, single mom of 4, I feel like I understand what they are saying, to some degree.
I lived in a marriage for almost 3 decades that did it’s best to kill me as well. And there were many moments that I thought I really might die. He was not physically abusive, but he was threatening. He also got me pregnant 5 times, giving us 4 children together. And those pregnancies were nothing more than miraculous on one account, but incredibly dangerous and compromising at best. I do not regret my children. They are my soul. But I never should have given him the right to my body like I did.
As a woman with my past, I hear the pain in those words and I feel them as well. I see how they-as minority populations-can claim that, and I see where I am complicit. I see where I might have common priorities with them, how I was focused on my own survival, as well as the health and wellness of my family, which included my ex. I gave…
