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The Realities of Living with PTSD Part 2
Managing PTSD is a nightmare filled with voices telling you of your weaknesses and instability. There are times that you feel like an almost “normal” person. Other times, you wonder if you are going to make it to dinnertime and see your kids before you die.
My PTSD displays itself in my neurological system in a way that people cannot see. I tend to manage my outward responses pretty well, but my insides are torn to shreds daily. At its very worse, I have mild seizures, constant tremors, my eyes cannot focus, and my heartrate is high, with little jumps here and there. Reading is impossible. Driving becomes difficult. My legs feel weak and it is tempting to stop moving, which is the worst thing ever. But when my PTSD is in a remission of sorts, I can forget I have it for days at a time, until my heart skips a beat and reminds me. Or until a text comes in from my ex and my hands go into tremors again. I don’t really appreciate that much.
How I have learned to manage my PTSD is not really traditional. Many of us have our very personal ways of coping and accessing healing. Each of us have different needs and different symptoms. One thing that is sure, however, is that we didn’t ask for this. So stop telling us to calm down, telling us its all in our head, to give it to God, and to go see a therapist. We will take care of ourselves in the way that is best…
