The Price of not doing it like everyone else.

Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

Sitting with a mentee and friend this morning (via zoom), we discussed the prescribed life. We talked about it as if there is a normal life trajectory. And there is. The ideal is something only the very lucky few attain. (If that’s what you want, anyway)

1. Go to college and get your education
2. Get a job
3. Get married
4. Buy a house
5. Have kids
6. Work and raise kids together, saving for retirement
7. Retire and enjoy time with spouse and grandkids
8. Die, leaving a legacy of love, stability and maybe some money.

The woman I was meeting with is a rockstar. She accomplished 1–4 pretty well. She survived cancer, childhood trauma, and divorce. Number 5 looks like co-parenting a teenager now. And the trajectory of retirement and enjoying the ease of that part of life is far, far away. It is for me as well. So, the discussion hit home in many ways. It’s not that we were having a pity party. We are both very happy with where we are, despite the hardship.

What happens when we don’t do things like “everyone” else?

For starters, we are plagued with doubts as to our validity. If we don’t get through college, let’s say, we have little…