Member-only story
The Past Five Days of Hell
-hopefully the last of them
Tuesday, after waiting 107 days on the judge, the divorce financial ruling came. It came like a tsunami on an otherwise sunny, bird-chirping kind of morning.
I refused to open it. In fact, I told my lawyer to send it to my brother. I’m super lucky that my brother is a lawyer, although he is not local.
Just seeing the email made my stomach drop and my heart palpitate. I felt sick and had to sit down. I knew the judgement would not be fair. There was so little chance of the judge understanding the complexity of my life situation with that man. Who would understand why a woman would give up everything for husband in children?
And…apparently, I was right. The judge didn’t. On no level did she get it.
Strangely, the one piece that was really tricky to relay is this: For the 20 years he was in school, sometimes working and sometimes not, I worked my ass off to support him. I took care of our home, the bills, the children, the hobby farm, homeschooled, worked at least 2 part time jobs, did weekend gigs, and he was required to do nothing.
What got done was done by myself, with the help of my father, often, and my brothers and brothers-in-law. Sometimes men at church helped me with my computer issues. For 8 years, the neighbor mowed our 2 acre lawn. I…
