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The Mormon girl goes to the Seminary…
Childhood was a beautiful time; full of family, friends, church activities, homework, music lessons, etc. My parents totally rocked at their jobs as providers and nurturers. Summers, we memorized poetry, did the summer reading club at the library, 4-H, worked our tails off in the gardens and preserving food, and got to swim and play with cousins. There was nothing I wanted for, literally…okay, maybe some peace and quiet. I am the oldest girl in a family of 9 children. I LOVED being the older sister, though. I loved the babies, the caring and feeding, the reading and playing with them. I have always loved to love and needed to feel needed.
But, I got married at age 19, and life changed dramatically. I did not feel needed. I certainly did not feel noticed or loved. Why did I get married then, you ask? I was doing what I had been told to do for my entire life up to that point. Following all the rules is what I did best. I was not about to mess this thing up. If I am anything, it is determined, yet pacifying. I knew what I was to do, and it just happened that a nice boy from CA-a Mormon-asked me.
For many years, I did not struggle with the marriage. I struggled with myself. I had quit school to work more hours to help get him through. I had a traumatizing miscarriage doing the other thing I was told was the right thing to do-have babies. I got lost inside…
