The love had to leave first, or the kind of love that you had once had...This is my story as well. It had to shift, or I could never have left. I had to see what I had given up (everything) and what he had gained (everything) over the previous 25 years. It took 5 years of work to come to that realization. goodness!! Glad you wrote about it. I am, as well. We need to!!