Thanks for this. And no, I didn’t self diagnose. I won’t even do this for myself. Too risky. But he would not get help. I have a lot of really brutally honest people in my life and they helped me in various ways begin to look at this possibility…not diagnosing necessarily. Several are social workers and psychologists and some of the wisest people I know.

After years of denying there was a problem, I had to look at this closely. His actions were causing such enormous difficulties, I became very ill, and I had no choice but to get my own help…learning to delineate between what was mine and what was his. It was the most difficult work of my life.

I appreciate your comment. This isn’t the whole picture. Please dont take anything personally. I have no doubt that he is what he is. And I firmly believe people can heal. If they want to do the work. But he hasn’t and has no more motivation to do it. I have removed all responsibility from him in order to keep us safe.

Be well. This is not about you. You are apparently working on yourself, getting what you need. And that is what we all should be doing. Thanks.