Thank you! Noted, things to try the second time around, when and if that happens. By year 20 of my marriage, I could not find any pleasure or desire to be with him intimately. I did, but I hated myself for it. There were too many other broken pieces to want to hold his hand, kiss him at all, or let him massage my neck. He would have loved all those things, but I needed him to show up in other ways for me first. I needed the message that I was more than the available body for him. I was a whole person with ideas and a will, and that he loved that...all of that. That was not the story. This is tricky stuff, but I hope to do it better next time. Paying close attention along the way will likely help.