Sweet woman!

There are far too many things I want to say to you. What devastation you have been through! And yes, so many similarities. But, we know now, why it is that we feel the way we do, why we believe that we are the ones who are mentally ill, why we stay with someone who is abusing the shit out of us.

It's simply because we believe, in the deepest core of ourselves, that they have the same vision for our lives as we do. They want the same things as we do for our family and for each other. But, we cannot know what we cannot know.

I had no eyes to see this until I was married for over 20 years. It was year 22 for me. Just like you, I had been blamed, shamed, and been made to be afraid of my own shadow, doubting myself all along the way. I was highly functional, working 3 jobs, homeschooling and managing our whole life, but still...I was not ever doing enough. Becuase he still had to go to work at a job he hated and I "got" to stay home with the kids.

THere is no winning here. I am so sorry. I am waiting for my court ruling and I have little to no faith at all that the judge saw through his OMG THE STORIES, as you said!

Sending love to you and your little ones. I truly believe there are unforgiveable things in this life, and this is one of them. Maybe I'll change my mind someday, but I will never ever believe anything that comes out of that bastard's mouth again.

One great hope for you that I have is success in your detoxing your mind and body of the words he spewed at you so many times. They hurt so deeply. May you heal and be well, my sister!