Somehow, they always win. Mine did too. He wanted his money and he got all of it. And mine, and lots of my dad's. All of the money that was put into his life from other sources, he walked away with. Now, he has no full time job, has plenty to live on with his part time jobs and all the money I had to give him. Doesn't have any debt...I have that...and travels with his girlfriend. It's exactly what he always wanted. Freedom to play. And he got that and the money to support it. People outside this nightmare will NEVER get it. It's true. My ex, however, will not like it when my book comes out. He is delusional and thinks he is still the victim. He believes that I was the abusive one. This was a major part of my leaving him. I was so tired of being the one he blamed for everything in his life that he didn't love...which was all of it. I'm grateful that I got out. But I paid a price I'll be paying off for 30 years in the remortgaging of my house (that I am renting because I can't afford it now). Messy world, this is.