So much good stuff in what you said. And so many truths. I totally agree with you. We do what we see patterned in our childhoods unless we heal from the harm it did.
THere is another twist, though. I married when I was 19. I had only known hard-working and good men. I am serious. My people are farmers. They work their asses off. Even men who were not farmers worked to keep their families secure in every way. My parents were amazing partners. Still are. Yes, gender roles were a real thing. And I never expected anything different. I was not prepared to be with a man who would want to travel willy nilly through life, while I worked and raised his kids and took care of life. I had no idea those men existed. I had little contact with media and therefore, was unprepared. It goes so many ways, strangely.

So what happens when the model is too good? And reality is not represented there.

I know you have suffered greatly. My sweet man has as well. Women are just as shitty as men, to be frank. We are still fighting inside to make space for ourselves and some of us are soooo NOT graceful about it at all. I don’t mean to blame. But, I wanted to point out the very clear truth that there are some things that have been programmed into men for millenia that women have not had the luxury of.

My father never said he was tired, btw. He worked. He still does. It didn’t matter if he was tired, so why talk about it? His role was his, not my moms to pick up the pieces. So that was a rarity, too.

Interesting rabbit hole, there.

Thanks again, friend!!