Piper, I am totally with you with every word. I was married for over 25 year-still am actually-and we were never matched up well. I never knew what the real problem was. Now I do. I waited to file until I had consensus with him and still, after 5 years of talking about it with him, he got a horrible lawyer who is trying to ruin me. Still, my marriage taught me an incredible amount about myself, just as my divorce is. It is defining us both and I am glad to be me, more and more each day.