Pieter, thank you for this. I totally agree with every word of what you are saying. I am past blaming men for not doing their work, but looking more deeply into the culture that allows them to bypass it. We, as women, try to bypass it as well, sometimes. It is getting easier and easier for us to do so. The rite of passage of childbirth and childrearing is being avoided and the effects are being softened. Just saying that, I know I make enemies. But, as a mother, I know how it has the capacity to change us. But, after many years of being less than supported through this beautiful time in our lives, by community, we are opting out. And I understand why. To "adult" sucks. It is the hardest thing ever. But, you are right, to not "adult" sucks worse. And we all suffer when just one of us avoids it.