Omg!! This! As I reflect on my marriage of 28 years, I have thought the same, painful thought. I was a good Boy Scout. I left him so far better than I found him. When I met him he had no direction, had never read books, had little education and no cares in the world. When we separated he had a doctorate and a job making 6 figures. I’d sacrificed everything for him and my kids and what is left for me. All of the marital debt and my children, who are my best friends in the whole world. What a price to pay we mothers and wives pay. You are right on the money once again! Duped! Totally duped! Cognitive dissonance out the wazoo when what they say and what is really happening don’t match. And they never did match. Not in my life.