Oh my!! This is so much to read this morning! I read your sentences about being a "failure" and I cried. That is me, too. I am glad you are getting some assistance, but it is terrifying. Just seeing my ex is more than I can handle. His abuse was covert and sneaky, nothing like your ex. YOu have endured so much. I am checking out your book. SO much of what we suffer, as women in churches, is not ours to bear. We are victims, pure and simple. Thank you for speaking out!