Oh...my kids are old enough to choose for themselves. The courts gave him no custody. He had no real relationships with them and they spoke to the judge. I don't despise him. He broke every single rule possible during the marriage and divorce. Sad, disappointed, devastated, poverty-stricken, burdened...thats what I am. I was terribly unwise to NOT know who he was. I trusted him to be respectful and honest when I should not have. My kids are adults, though. I was married for 28 years.