Lies are known to be something we say that causes deception. I think that is the problem with this word in this case. My ex has "lied" to himself for his whole life. I don't think he means it, though. He lives inside a delusion that is neither healing nor productive. He blamed me for all of his problems for our entire marriage of almost 3 decades. I don't think he meant to "lie" to himself. He just cannot be introspective or completely honest. He cannot be at fault. He cannot see that he needs help or could benefit from any changes. He is much better off single-to have his play-life alone-away from us. We are all better off without his gaslighting and "know it all" attitude and constant attention seeking. Sadly, he already has another woman-Lord help her.