Julia, it's hard to admit this, but there is definitely some truth to this. As my divorce is nearly final, my mind often wanders to compare sides. Its terribly unhealthy, but its what my mind does. I look at the fact that he has already moved on, has a girlfriend, his money and all of the freedom in the world. And I, after staying home, and working many jobs to make ends meet while raising kids, mostly alone for 22 years, have none. No money, no freedom, no stability. There is something to be said about the envy felt in the heart of every mother who is eternally tied down. Yes, it was her choice. But often, it was not just her choice, but the choice of her mate and partner, who most likely never showed up to do his fair share. I know this is true in my case. I wouldn't give the kids up for the world. But, I am forever going to be the only parent they have and that pressure is more than difficult.

I would not call you selfish. I call you honest. At least you knew what you wanted and had the courage to do that. We don't need more unwanted children in the world.

Keep being brave. Thanks for writing this!