It makes my heart hurt to listen to your brother's story. I totally hear it. That was me. I am glad you were there for him. Even with a really sucky marriage, I was camp counselor. I think I was really good at coaching my siblings and even parents because I had felt all of it, and was still feeling it all...and was desperate for them to NOT feel it. Why I settled in with my pain and could not be okay with theirs is a strange and bizarre thing, but as the oldest sister, my job was to make sure everyone was okay. I have so much pride in how they did their work and their partners worked with them. My ex never showed up, but at least I didn't have to see them suffer more than necessary to heal. Thanks for your words, again, sister!