"In another year, if I’m outright ugly again, I hope I don’t care."

I hope you don't as well. Funny thing, though...I have never been "ugly" as you might define it. And all of those realities that you experienced are true. But, as I age, I find myself in the same place you are. I care less and less all the time. I don't wear shoes, no makeup, shower less, and have no desire to impress. In the end, our inner light and beauty are all that matter. Beauty is not what we define it as, most of the time. Authenticity is beautiful...and you are full of that!