I see what you mean...doing a 10-15 year stretch for your kids. I think that is what I unconsciously thought as well. It has been 21 years, but still...

It is better to have more control than less, when there is implicit or explicit abuse or manipulation happening. I am grateful I stuck it out as long as I did. I know I gave a lot up, but they saw what was true by the end, so I still have my kids. They love their dad, but I was their mom, homeschool teacher, facilitator of all activities, taxi driver, chief cook and bottlewasher, etc.

I hope to keep sole custody at the final hearing. The provisional was at least successful in that regard.

Life is tough, yes. We trade one difficult thing off for another one; another shade of green grass or dusty desert, depending on our own psychological development.