I love this! I am seeing this lived out in my current relationship. And it feels really good to allow for that space for him. I have to say, however, that to allow for it, does require him to participate in my needs getting met as well. My marriage of 27 years was not that and I could not allow for the things he wanted from me, including playing with his hair, especially. All of it was triggering because I felt like I was just feeding the monster...not getting what I needed, but giving him everything he needed. I think our bodies sense this long before our minds have words for it. Thanks for writing this!