I didn't have a Stella and I still wasn't ready for the mess, either. I am sorry you lost this dear soul. It still angers me how much trauma was incurred during those endless years of divorce. I thought I'd finally get to breathe a little. But quite the opposite occurred. I am more trapped than ever due to having CPTSD and the health issues because of the divorce. I hear everything you are saying and hope the people who need this will see it and spare themselves of the injuries we incurred.