I believe they can become aware and choose to get help. But I will be the first to tell everyone that boundaries do not work. They don’t do boundaries….unless you want to get screamed at and told you are a f#*&ing bitch in front of your own children. Once I realized what was happening I was 25 into a marriage and there was no way to “work with it”. The question is ONLY this: How do I get away woth my children with anything to support us? That is it.

And it rarely happens by narcissists know how to work all systems and get exactly what they want. It’s a game they play well, gaslighting everyone all along the way. Dangerous and toxic. Good to know the facts, yes.

But, as my sister said, after I finally realized who he was…take your kids and get as far away from that asshole as possible. She was wise in saying that. Hard topic to not “blame the victim”. You tried really hard, but still the work is ours to do, sadly. They, the narcissists, rarely get help. It is never them. It’s us, they are convinced.