"Boys will be boys", that's what we grew up with. I am in Indiana, born into a really great, but very patriarchal, sexist farm family. I love them all, but the women have been especially harmful, using words like this. It's one thing when men back each other up. But when women, your mom, grammas, aunts...all of them...excuse and laugh at their abusive behavior, that is when things get messed up in our heads. I am so sorry for your pain. But thank you for writing this! We need to hear more of this in order for it to stop entirely from happening. The victim blaming and shaming is inexcusable.