Are these our only options? Play the game and conform to the rules or opt out, entirely?

I wonder about that, too. Even though I don't think I am catering to his needs or conforming to the culture that their needs created, I know I am, to some extent. Do I still get what I need? I am trying more to focus on my needs getting met, how many of them I can meet on my own, how much I need him, and what it is actually worth to me. These are hard things to be looking at all of the time, but right now, they are the most important.

I hate thinking about all of this as well. I just wish people were as authentic as I used to think they were...back in the good ole days of naivety. Thanks again, Yael!