And this has been the hardest part! The feelings of stupidity, ignorance, naivety, the trusting in someone who would never show up...this has been my kryptonite. Forgiving myself is still a daily practice. I am reminded of my bad choice to marry him every time I see the pain in my kids' eyes. I am reminded every time I try to find the money to pay bills. It still needs a lot of attention. Thanks for the permission to keep forgiving myself! Recovery is a long and arduous journey.