An Ode to another Valentine’s Day

Dating someone else’s former “asshole” partner

Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

You know it’s true. We are single for a reason. Each us have different reasons, perhaps, but it’s not an accident.

Some of us were the abusers. Some of us were the abused. Some of us enabled the abuse. Some cheated on our partners. Some of us still could never imagine doing that. No matter, we are all here, in single-land.

We loved someone, to the best of our ability. And it wasn’t enough. The kind of love we offered was not sufficient to hold them in place, to keep them or ourselves happy, nor stop time when the pain got too big.

Either you see it as a failure, or you have worked at seeing that particular relationship as having met it’s own natural end, fulfilling it’s role in your life.

My marriage and following relationships definitely filled a need. That need was to slap me in the face, a little harder each time. Apparently, I’m a stubborn bitch at times.

As a “believer” of sorts, I fully allow for the possibility that the Divine has a plan for my life. As I go through both these beautiful and difficult times, I see it unfolding as well. The lessons I have needed to learn are unfortunately humiliating and impossibly hard at times. But, to learn is one of the main goals of life…