3 Observations of Middle-Aged Men

A woman’s take on what they want.

Christina Sophia
Hello, Love
Published in
5 min readJun 14, 2022

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Photo by Rana Sawalha on Unsplash

I’m a middle-aged woman, yes. But many of my closest friends are men. They are the fathers of my children’s friends. They are the husbands of my childhood friends. They are men who have taken my retreats.

I have six brothers and two brothers-in-law as well. I have helped raise boys who are now men, with their own children and wives.

As a child and youth, I was one of those girls whose best friends were always boys…until I got married. That was a tragic moment because I lost my friends that day and wasn’t ready for it. (Thank you, conservative Christian upbringing:( )

That being said, boys have always made sense to me. No, I don’t love everything about boys and men. They can be disgusting and totally inappropriate at times. They suck at sharing their feelings honestly and are professional blow-offs(when it comes to serious things). At times!

Men in my life were most often the rocks that kept things steady. My grandfather, my father, my brothers, and my sisters’ husbands are all very solid men. When I say “solid”, I mean, the rather traditional, leader-type man. They know where they belong in the decision-making processes of the family, and stay out of the space of their wives when it is not their space to occupy. I am lucky to have had those examples.

But, tbh, I have loved men more deeply than I have ever loved women. At least until lately. Women are finally showing up as good friends. And it is a great gift.

Over the past few years, as I have reached middle age myself, I have had some encounters with men that have taught me some important things. There are three of them I want to share today.

  1. Men want to share their stories as much as women do. They are not used to being heard. They are not used to sharing. This is something I noticed as I traveled the world doing retreats before Covid hit. We sat in circles and shared our lives. But, men often sat silent. They wanted to share in private, not with the group around. They found quiet moments to sit and talk or walk and talk with me. Maybe it’s because I know how to talk to men, knew how to tease them into being comfortable, or just had so much damn practice with them. I don’t know why…

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Christina Sophia
Hello, Love

Exploring my relationship with myself, others and the gods of my childhood. Its all up for grabs. Feeling my way forward everyday.